PERSISTING IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD

A word has been popping up in my life repeatedly, lately.  You know how that is.  Seems like everywhere you turn, it’s there, in one form or another.  You read it, you hear it, you start repeating it over and over.  What does that word really mean, or what is that word supposed to mean to me?  We serve a Sovereign God, which means there is no such thing as coincidence, chance, or luck.  Our God is an intentional God.  So, when a word, a phrase, or an object appear over and over, we should take notice, explore, and ponder.

The word that I’ve been meditating on of late is “present.”  Present.  Not as in a gift to give or receive, but as in “being,” which in a way is a gift.  Let me explain.

According to the internet (which we know must be true), the word “present” means existing now, happening or existing at this very moment, not past or future.  It means in attendance.  Remember when they used to take attendance in school? “Here!”  It means being in a specific place at a specific time and not being elsewhere.

Seems clear, but those last few words are the kicker – being in a specific place at a specific time and not being elsewhere.  Think about that.  When was the last time you were in a specific place at a specific time and not anywhere else.  This may seem like a duh moment but think about it.  When was the last time you were doing something, anything, and you were there, all there and not anywhere else.  When was the last time you were right in the moment?  Not thinking about the past, agonizing over sin or old wounds received or inflicted?  Not thinking about the future, no worries about what’s going to happen tomorrow, the next day or the next?  Not anxious about your schedule to come or to do?  Just simply being “present” in the moment?

Since I’m a planner and my wheels constantly turn, I’ve determined that I’m not always good at being “present.”  It’s always the next, the next, the next.  Even when I’m in that next, I’m in the next next.  And I sometimes (lots times) struggle to stay in the now, in the very moment, in the “present” and I may just be missing out on the preciousness of the now.  Same for anyone out there?

When I really think about it, I’m afraid that if attendance were taken, much of the time I’d have to say, “Absent!”  So as Bowie said, “I turned myself to face me.”  Looking within, I examine and determine that to live “present” I must acknowledge the presence.

You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.
Psalm 16:11

Panim is the Hebrew word here for presence.  It literally means “the face as the part that turns.”  Be it a human face, emotions seen on a face, personal presence, or the very closeness, proximity of God, it means relationship; to seek His presence, His face, is to pursue fellowship. To stand face-to-face, to be in His presence.

So, maybe Bowie got it wrong. Instead of turning my face to face me (don’t I already do that enough in my thoughts about the future and the past), I need to turn my face to face Jesus, the Presence who can bring me into my “present.”

There are actual presents in being “present.” Gifts like the way of life, the joy of His presence and the pleasure of living with Him forever.  But if I’m not there, if I’m not “present” in His presence, I can’t experience those gifts. In order to do that I have to seek His face, pursue Him, focus on Him, be drawn to Him by Him. The world has this overwhelmingness about it – speed and information. Our minds and our bodies were not designed to keep up with either.  We were designed to be in this moment right here, right now for now not wandering and wondering ahead to the next or lingering and languishing on the last.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Amen.

Has anyone else noticed the number of butterflies this year?  I’m no butterfly expert, but it seems to me like they’re as plentiful this year as locusts on a seventh year. It’s almost plague-like, but the good kind.

So, I read up a little on the butterfly and found there are between 17,500 and 20,000 species of butterflies in the world. Even if there were only a thousand of each that’s 20 million butterflies. I also learned that the lifespan of a butterfly is 2-4 weeks. Talk about a lot to do in a little bit of time…

Anyhow, I understand why we have so many at our joint.  We have lots of thistles. I know that thistles are weeds, they’re prickly, they spread like wildfire, and they’re super hard to get rid of, but I do love them, and so do butterflies.  But the most interesting thing to me is that although the butterflies are mostly on the thistles and other brightly colored, invasive wildflowers (weeds) in our area, I’ve noticed them camping out in odd places this year.

The top picture is on a porch ottoman.  This ottoman is not brightly colored, and offers no nectar or nourishment.  In fact, this ottoman offers nothing more than a place to rest your wings.  As I sat on that porch several butterflies were dancing around and playing hide-and-seek from the 2 year old, for literally hours.

I also saw a trio of black yellow-winged flittered for half a day on my yellow work gloves laying on the front porch glider Saturday.  Each time I peeked out they were hopping on and off the gloves.  Later in the day when I moved the gloves, one stayed put until I shooed it away.  My gloves offered nothing substantive for them.  Yes, they were brightly colored, but no nectar, no nourishment.

Then as I sit at my desk plunking these words out, I see motion and looky here.  I have a spectator.

Crazy.

As I watch all the butterflies, their wings flapping earnestly to stay aloft, my thoughts drifted to my own flapping trying to stay aloft and my own need for nectar and nourishment.  From time-to-time, more often than I care to admit, I have felt like those butterflies with wings a fluttering, riding the wind, dodging obstacles all the while searching for sweet nectar, nourishment, and fulfillment. 

Sometimes I too have landed on the wrong thing to feed my soul.  I too have flitted around from spot to spot trying to land on just the right thing that will bring a balm and sweetness to my soul.  And, just like the butterfly it has at times been the wrong thing.  Maybe I’ve landed in the wrong location.  Maybe I too have been attracted to the shiny that promises fulfillment but has no hope of fulfilling.  Maybe I too have been derailed and fallen for a yellow leather glove instead of a luscious black-eyed Susan.

I tend to think that some of my rocky landings in life are from my constant flittering about making it hard to land on the right things, the good things.  Things that will bring my soul sustenance, substantiveness, satisfaction, and life.  It reminds me not to try to fill my soul cup from things that don’t and won’t ever give me what I need to soar with the wind beneath my wings.

But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

Trusting in the Lord is my nectar, my power, my propellant. Those thousands of flying creatures remind me that my Helper, my Counselor, my Everlasting Father, my Jesus is the only One that can give me what I need to truly get off the ground.

And I will soar on wings like eagles
Held by the hand of God
I will run and not grow tired
When on His name I call
Like Eagles, Dan Moen

Recently we’ve had several big storms pass through our area.  It’s August, it’s just that time of year.  A couple of days ago we had a particular big storm pass through— right in the middle of the youngest love of my life’s nap time. It was quite a doozy, even by my storm-loving standards.

It was one of those that came up quickly and moved even quicker.  So quick in fact, that I knew it was upon us even before my phone did.  While the sun was still out the winds started, the clouds deepened, and the rumble started.  Now where we live at the foot of the mountain many of the storms that slide in from the west seem to split at our point of the mountain sparing us the torrent unleashed on the valley before.  But, not today.

As I sat on the porch feeling the wind kick into high gear (which was heavenly on this oppressive day), and watched the trees bend at 45s, the clouds started to swirl dark blue to deep purple then black, and then the thunder rolled in.  That little rumble in the distance was now a clanging gong on top of us.  Then the rains came, sideways for a bit — about a 1/2 inch in a 1/2 hour.  And then the terrified screaming started…

I ran to him.  As I picked him up, through his tears he kept saying “It’s so loud MawMaw, it’s very very loud.  What’s that MawMaw?” As I held him so tight and tried to explain to a 2-year-old that thunder was loud but couldn’t hurt you, he calmed little as he clung.  We decided to rock because resting was better than only 2/3s of a nap.

As we’re rocking in the dark listening to some of the loudest thunder I’d ever heard, I said to myself I’ll just rock him through the storm.  With his head on my shoulder, binky in and HopHop in hand as I clung to him as much as he clung desperately to me, in an instant I was reminded that that was exactly what the Lord had done for me, and it brought me to tears. 

As I held him so tight, even tighter through the shocking roars, rocking and whispering soothing words, as my tears were streaming, I praised the Lord for doing the exact same thing for me.  For rocking me and the one’s I love through the vicious, threatening storms of the past years of my life.  I remember laying my head on the Lord’s shoulder clinging to Him for literal dear life. I remember the squeeze as He held tight to me and to those I love.  I remember Him whispering soothing words.  I remember His arms vice-like on me the days the crashing thunder seemed deafening and overwhelming and the storm threatened to overtake me.   Thinking back on some of those “very very loud” storms, I feel the held of the Lord. What a healing time.

The storm was just such a soothing time for both of us.  As the storm moved out and the blaring thunder became quiet, just a memory, my little buddy looked up at me and said, “Time to get up MawMaw.”  I laughed.  He was right.

He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart.
Isaiah 40:11

So, when the storms pass through your area, which are guaranteed to come, He bends low, picks us up in His arms, holds us to Him so that our hearts beat as one with His, and He rocks us until the storm is through, and then…it’s time to get up.   That’s just how much He loves us.  That’s just how good He is. No matter the storm, He will rock us through. Amen.

Have you ever noticed when you buy a new car, or a new to you car, that everyone, everywhere you go has the same color car? Well, our last two new cars have been white and guess what, everyone, everywhere we go has a white car. Not an easy find in a parking lot! This really did intrigue me (I know, sad), so I did a little research.

Come to find out, 80% of new cars are painted in four neutral colors — black, white, gray and silver (aren’t they the same?), now. In the 70s & 80s, you guessed it, no kidding, the hot colors were harvest gold, avocado green, and burnt orange (my Datsun B210) and you thought it was just appliances. In the 90s it was bright colors, teals and purples. And in the 2020s it is grayscale, black, white, gray, and silver. You now know more than you ever wanted to know about car paint colors. But here’s why it came up.

I was driving home from church the other day, and there’s one spot that has a slew of cars parked there on a regular basis, this day four in front of one house. And guess what color they were?? Gray! Then I passed a gray truck. Then another gray car on Burke Street. Then another in the square. It seemed, just like when we got our white cars, I now couldn’t get away from gray cars. They were everywhere. And I said to myself, gray must be the new white. And that phrase immediately quickened my mind. Gray is the new white. The more I thought about it, the more I realized just how true that statement was. In the world we live in gray really is the new white and we Christians have made it that way (sorry, not sorry). How so?

You don’t love me or each other as you did at first!
Look how far you have fallen from your first love!
Revelation 2:4-5

The Christians in the Church of Ephesus were a fading bunch. Yes, Jesus pointed out some very good things they were doing, but He also pointed out that their love for Him was not as white, not as bright, not as pure as it had been initially and that they were losing sight of the seriousness of their dark, black, sin. Their love for Him was mixing with their worldly view on sin casting a gray hue.

Jesus said something similar to the Church at Laodicea about their color mix.

I know all the things you do and you are neither hot nor cold. I wish you were one or the other!
But, since you are like lukewarm water, I will spit you out of my mouth!
Revelation 3:15-16

Jesus pointed out that the Laodicean Church was neither white nor black. They were gray. And He points out the cost of following Him and being grayscale.  

Hmmm…these teachings of Jesus certainly bear some very serious consideration. In a world that pushes the gray of compromise, accommodation, tolerance, if we are not watchful, we are at risk of Jesus saying these exact same things to us… Look how far you have fallen, look how lukewarm you have become. Look how you have mixed the divine (absolute truth) with the world (absolute false) to make something different, gray. This mix is a walk onto the pond of thin ice. The further we get from shore, the higher the risk, and the thinner the ice, and the inevitable fall.

The only way to avoid the fall, the spit out of the mouth, is to avoid the pond, the murky water. In order to do that, we have to be hyper vigilant, the eyes of our hearts wide open. The “world” (black) is so cunning and intrusive and the more we live it, the more darkness we see. Before we know it we have heard something that we can’t unhear, we have seen something we can’t unsee, we have bought into lies that make it hard to find the truth. The things we see on TV, the internet, at work, at school, in the grocery store, in a conversation with friends (even Christian friends) can subtly bend our hearts and throw shades of gray.

Our best defense from blending is a good offense. The Way. The Truth. The Life. The Word of God. Read it. Know it. It tells us what to watch out for and how to protect ourselves from the dark and bring Jesus into the light. With Jesus there is no gray area.

When I walked by the fence recently, I thought to myself, again, when we get time, we need to fix that.  Yes, that is exactly what you think it is — duct tape!  It really is a wonder tape and in West Virginia, we hold most things together with it, here the fence, but also sometimes our lives.

The duct tape on this fence right here was a quick solution to a cracked board with a promise to come back and fix made over a year ago.  As you can see, between time and life, we’re a little slow to repair, but really, if a patch works why fix it…because it is still broken.  Despite being held together with a bit of adhesive on some tape, the board is still cracked and about to break.  And as you can see, if the initial problem is not fixed, it doesn’t matter how much adhesive, how much we patch, mend, or reinforce with tape, glue, a band aid, the repair job will eventually fall off and we’re left with the underlying problem, the board is still cracked.

Isn’t that like so much in our lives?   We just put a band aid over our sin, or sew on a patch, make a promise to fix it or deal with it later and then later only comes when the crack in the board becomes a break. 

The one who conceals his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them will find mercy.
Proverbs 28:13

Just like the broken boards in our lives that we’ve taped up, when we conceal the brokenness caused by the sin in our lives, we will cannot prosper.  The Hebrew word for prosper means to advance, move forward, to thrive.  Unrepentant sin, the kind we patch with a band aid so no one sees but is still there, blocks our prosperity.  It blocks our ability to truly move forward.  Why so?  Because we know, deeper down in our hearts where sin can take up residence, that underneath the tape, what we see on the outside, what we cover up with, what we prop ourselves up with, the board is still cracked.

But getting to the heart of the matter, taking the duct tape off, actually removing the cracked board and putting in a new board, brings mercy.  And that’s the link, repentance, admitting there’s a crack or a break, taking out the old board and replacing it with a new board gives God a channel to work in our lives and for us to flourish. Although confession of sin, admitting that we fall short of God’s standards, stating out loud that we are cracked and broken is hard and time consuming.  But the duct tape is only a temporary solution, it really just covers up the problem, and as you can see in the picture, eventually that band aid will fall off.  We can only cover and patch up our sin so much.   When it comes right down to it, we need to fix our broken and that can only be done by getting rid of it and turning from it.

Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.
Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify me from my sin.
For I know my wrongdoings, And my sin is constantly before me.
Psalm 51:1-3

The Hebrew meaning of mercy is compassion, unfailing love, goodness, loving kindness.  We serve a God of mercy, compassion, and loving kindness who wants us to prosper and flourish and thrive.  This can only be done if we rip off the duct tape, take care of the broken board, and open up the route for his mercy and grace to freely flow in our lives.

The faithful love of the Lord never ends, his mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.
Lamentations 3:22-23

Over the past week or so we have learned how small the world really is, haven’t we?  A look outside reminds us that Canada is our neighbor, seemingly much closer than we thought.  And if you can’t see it because your windows are as dirty as mine, a step outside will confirm for you that Canada is within arm’s reach, or nose’s sniff. Smoky, acrid smelling air has dropped down out of Canada replacing our fresh, clear, sweet mountain air with burn the eyes, nose and throat bitter air.  How does this happen?

“They” say there are about 800 (yes, 800) wildfires currently burning in the boreal forests of Canada.  These fires have resulted in a very dense plume of smoke dropping down and drifting into the Mid-Atlantic region hitting parts of where we live.  I’m no person who know geoscientist, but it is my understanding that part of this plume became lodged against part of the Appalachian Mountains.  This banking resulted in parts of the plume hanging in our region for nearly a week.  It is quite an eerie site to see and smell.

As I was walking my dog last Thursday morning, while wearing a mask, I couldn’t help but think a little about hell.  We don’t know what hell will be like exactly, but the Bible does give us enough information for me to know that’s not where I want to spend my forever.

To date, approximately 6.9 million acres have burned of Canada’s 1.3 billion acres of boreal forest.  In the grand scheme of numbers, 6.9 million of 1.3 billion does not seem like a lot, and it is not, about 5%. Although any amount of forestry lost is a lot. What really struck me as I was walking though was how far reaching something can be that is happening so far away and more-so, the sweeping impact of it.  And there is maybe no greater sweeping impact that is made, that floats through the air, and banks against our lives than that of sin.

Looking out through the fields on that smoky day I was struck by how the smoke from fires anywhere from 500-1,500 miles away was touching, floating, visible, and permeating our eyes and our lungs causing our lives to be altered. The same is true with sin.  Just like the smoke from the fires, a seemingly little sin goes a long way.

Your boasting about this is terrible. Don’t you realize that this sin is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough?
1 Corinthians 5:6

Paul was teaching here about moral sin. The “this sin” that he was talking about here specifically was sexual immorality, (which is sex outside of marriage and the Bible defines marriage as between a man and a woman), but sin is sin.  Whether it is lying, gossiping, anger, stealing, murder, idolatry, or another one, a little leaven goes a long way. 

Sin and the affects of it are like the plume dropping down, saturating us with stink. Just like smoke that fills every nook and cranny, that can be seen, smelled and experienced, sin is the same, touching everything, our families, our friends, our homes, our jobs, our coworkers, our church,  Causing us not to be able to see clearly and causing us to stink.

Sin never hurts just the sinner, it is widespread wafting through the air and impacting everything we do.  The ripple effects of sin are devastating and can shake us for years.  Whether the perpetrator of sin or the victim of sin, there are two promises that ring out loud and exceedingly clear in God’s Word.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, no matter what they be, He will forgive and purify, cleanse and remove the stench.  A wind from the four corners will enter our bodies, a fresh clear plume, and we will begin to breathe again, we will be brought back to life.

I often take pictures on my early morning walks. It is an incredible sight to behold the sun coming up, the clouds moving around, the reflections of the two sometimes takes your breath away. Look more closely at this picture. What do you see? I didn’t notice it initially; I was looking at the morning colors. But after gazing for a minute, the image came to life.

I see a dove, wings expanded, feet coiled under, head forward, descending. Wow! Is this the verse that came to your mind too?

When Jesus was baptized, he went up immediately from the water. The heavens suddenly opened for him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming down on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well-pleased.”
Matthew 3:16-17

God had appointed John the Baptist as the forerunner, the herald, the harbinger, the preparer of people, the one to ready and enact the plan and announce to the world that Jesus was coming. That after nearly 700 years, the Wonderful, Counselor, Almighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace, the Root of Jesse, the ONE they had been waiting was come. Jesus.

John’s ministry was to tell folks to get ready, Jesus was coming. John’s ministry of baptism was with water for those who turn from their sins and turn to God. For those who committed to change. John told them: people get ready, there is someone coming so much greater than me, I’m not even worthy to be his slave. And this ONE will baptize with the Holy Spirit and in the fire.

He is ready to separate the chaff from the grain with his winnowing fork. Then he will clean up the threshing area, storing the grain in his barn but burning the chaff with never-ending fire. Matthew 3:12

And then John was called to baptize Jesus. Not because Jesus was a sinner, just the opposite. He was the sinless, spotless lamb, who came to take away the sins of the world. Jesus, the ONE who would take our place on the cross. Jesus, the only ONE who could take away our sins. Jesus, the only righteous ONE.

When I looked at this picture, that’s what I thought about. Jesus came up out of the water, the Heavens opened up, and the Spirit of God descended like a dove on Him. Hallelujah!

O what a wonderful, wonderful day
Day I will never forget
After I’d wandered in darkness away
Jesus my Saviour I met
O what a tender, compassionate friend
He met the need of my heart
Shadows dispelling, with joy I am telling
He made all the darkness depart

Heaven came down and glory filled my soul
When at the cross my Saviour made me whole
My sins were washed away
And my night was turned to day
Heaven came down and glory filled my soul

Born of the Spirit with life from above
Into God’s fam’ly divine
Justified fully thru Calvary’s love
O what a standing is mine
And the transaction so quickly was made
When as a sinner I came
Took of the offer of grace He did proffer
He saved me, O praise His dear name

Now I’ve a hope that will surely endure
After the passing of time
I have a future in heaven for sure
There in those mansions sublime
And it’s because of that wonderful day
When at the cross I believed
Riches eternal and blessings supernal
From His precious hand I received

Heaven came down and glory filled my soul
When at the cross my Saviour made me whole
My sins were washed away
And my night was turned to day
Heaven came down and glory filled my soul

Give me an understanding mind so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong.  For who by himself is able to govern this great nation of yours?
King Solomon, 1 Kings 3:9

At night in a dream, the Lord appeared to King Solomon and said: “Ask.  What should I give you?”  This came after Solomon had offered sacrifices and incense in worship and prayer because King Solomon “loved the Lord and followed all the instructions of his father, David…”

As I was reading in Chapter 3 in 1 Kings, the phrase that popped out at me was:   “Give me an understanding mind…”   That’s what the King asked for, “an understanding mind.”   He didn’t ask for riches, kingdoms, or power, he wanted “an understanding mind.”

One Hebrew word for “understanding” is shama, when translated it means heard, hear, to listen.  It isn’t just hearing sound, but also intellectual hearing, or thoughtful hearing, attentive hearing, obedient hearing, a hearing heart.  King Solomon sought from the Lord a hearing heart to be able to lead God’s people.

Is that what we seek too?  “Understanding,” a hearing heart?  Do we seek understanding (heart hearing) to know who God is, to heart hear His ways, to heart hear his Word, to heart hear His chosen path for us, to heart hear His leading, His encouragement, heart hearing to discern right from wrong, heart hearing to know how to lead others to Him?  It all starts with our hearing, our listening.

As we read on in this passage we see that King Solomon was given the task of deciding an argument between two women over a baby, an instance that clearly demanded “understanding,” heart hearing. And after listening to both sides, He said:

Let’s get the facts straight.
1 Kings 3:23

He first listened to the argument, he tuned in, he took notice, he lent an ear.  He listened, he wanted to hear the facts before speaking.  He wanted to know the situation before offering an opinion.  He wanted to hear before he spoke.  He wanted to know what was going on before he rendered a decision because he wanted to be obedient to God.

When I read this verse, I thought about Sgt. Friday, the famous detective from the 1950s iconic show, Dragnet.

All we want are the facts, ma’am.
Sgt. Joe Friday

King Solomon wanted the facts and one can only hear facts, hear information, if one listens.  Why is it important?  An understanding mind, a discerning mind, an obedient mind starts with listening.  Understanding doesn’t start with speaking, laying out an opinion, a narrative, a preconceived idea, or a personal agenda.  Understanding, “true wisdom,” doesn’t come from our own ideas, thoughts, inclinations or desires.

True understanding and wisdom come from discerning the ideas, the thoughts, the inclinations, the desires of God. True understanding and wisdom come from the mind of God, the will of God, the Word of God, and only when we walk so close to Him, when we abide, that we can hear and listen to no other.  So, how do we do that?  By simply asking.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5

Only after we’re gotten the facts straight, only after we’ve listened before speaking, only when we experience one mind with Christ can we truly know wisdom and understanding.  Just like God gave King Solomon shama, He will do the same for us if we ask…and…have a hearing heart.

The Declaration of Independence was written in June 1776, by Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Roger Sherman and Robert R. Livingston.  It was adopted by Congress on July 4, 1776, severing forever British rule, birthing the United States of America.

July 4^th  is observed nationally with a day off work, fireworks and picnics.  Just like we celebrate people’s birthdays, July 4^th is a celebration of our Nation’s birthday.  Just as people’s birthdays celebrate life, July 4th celebrates the life of the Nation we live in.  This Nation is not a perfect nation but it is independent, free, and self-ruling. And we celebrate its 250th birthday this coming Saturday.

Like every nation, we have symbols, all coming at various stages in our growth as a Nation.  There’s the United States Seal – you should check it out.  It’s beautiful and the symbolism will really make you think.  There’s the American Flag – we’re all familiar with Old Glory, a symbol of the freedoms we have.  And there’s the Star Spangled Banner. We display these, we wave these and we sing these proudly.  As we should. All of these symbols were adopted as reminders to us of who we are, where we came from as a nation, and as a focus for our future. The Star Spangled Banner, which has caused quite the controversy, was written just down the road from us. 

As I was out walking at daybreak, I noticed the sun starting to peek.  And I thought, this must be a little what Francis Scott Key felt in 1814 when he penned those famous words!

Oh, say, can you see by the dawn’s early light.
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming.

Although the subject is the flag, these words mean a little something different to me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a patriot through and through.  We fly the colors, nearly 200 on this 250^th birthday, we stand for the anthem, we appreciate our forefathers who labored long and at great cost in the birthing of our Nation.  We respect the original Constitution and love our homeland.

Mr. Key was talking about the flag.  He saw it in the twilight and with a battle raging, he was grateful to see it still flying in the morning.   Throughout the battle, the flag was constant.  It was there the night before and the morning aft.  Do we know of something that constant, regardless of the battle we’ve got raging in our lives?  Do we know of someone that constant?  Someone there the night before and the morning aft?  Of course we do.  God. 

The Lord guided them by a pillar of cloud during the day and a pillar of fire at night.  That way they could travel whether it was day or night.  And the Lord did not remove the pillar of cloud or pillar of fire from their sight.
Exodus 13:21-22

Who the Israelites saw in the morning, by the dawn’s early light, was the last thing they had seen at the twilight’s last gleaming.  He was constant!

Oh, say, can you see by the dawn’s early light.
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming.

You know, as Christians, we can proudly sing these stanzas with another thought in mind.  The meaning is the same, it’s the symbol that’s different for us.  Our symbol is the Cross.  The Cross of Christ.  The Cross symbolizes Jesus’ death and resurrection.  The Cross symbolizes for us eternal life.  The Cross is constant.  We never need fear that what we see in the twilight will not be there in the dawn’s early light, because Jesus is the dawn’s Early Light.

Are you a distracted pray-er?  I am sometimes.  I marvel and envy all at once those who can spend uninterrupted, completely focused time in prayer.  Should I be able to?  Maybe. Can/Do I?  No.  I’m not sure if it’s a can’t or a plain ole don’t. I have found I’m pretty good at the desperation prayers, the dagger prayers.  You too?

So I’m sitting at my desk the other morning doing what I do.  I pull out my prayer list, it’s pretty substantial, there’s a lot to pray about.  I also have these prayer pages that help guide me with specific prayers – salvation, Church prayers, school prayers.  Then I have this little book 31 Days of Praise, that I use the prayers in each day.  Sometimes I want to skip right past the prayer to the study.   Anyway, I’m sitting at my desk with my mind a whirl about the day.  I can’t concentrate.  I feel bad.  As a child of God, shouldn’t I easily be able to lift up prayers to my Jesus? 

Anyway again, I turn off my desk light, maybe that will help, it’s dark outside.  I can see the faded barn light and the moon.  It’s really beautiful today, a sliver on the bottom and a shadow on the top.  So I start praying.  I suddenly remember something I don’t want to forget to do and want to make a quick note so I can really focus on my prayers… Ugh!  Thirty seconds later, I’ve made my note and return to my prayers.  I know what you’re thinking…what’s wrong with her? Me too!  Anyway.  When I look up the moon is gone.  Just gone.  Now, there’s not a cloud in the sky that I can see, it has just disappeared.  Where’d it go?  For just a second I’m thinking what in the world, did it fall from the sky?  One moment of distraction (probably 30 seconds), I take my eyes off the moon for one moment, and it’s gone.  Hmmm. I took my eyes off and it was gone…

I take a breath and it reappears.  Back at it again.  As I was thinking about my complete lack of discipline, I wondered what God thought about my complete lack of discipline.  Does He get the way my mind works?  Does He want more from me?  Does He want me to be more disciplined? Does He want me to put aside the world and spend some focused time with Him?  Does He understand?  Does He want me to spend time with Him even though I don’t quite seem to get it right?  To all, it’s a resounding, YES!!!  Look.

…and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven…
2 Chronicles 7:14

He wants us to pray.  It clearly says if we pray, He will hear.  He wants to spend time with us.  He knows the world’s pull on us.  He knows we will be distracted.  He knows it all.  He’s God! But what He asks is that we humble ourselves.  That we discipline ourselves to speak with Him.  We don’t need prayer rules, or to get hung up on prayer lists.  If we listed all the prayer concerns we have, we would never get through them.  And what happens when we don’t get through the list?  We feel guilty.  We feel less.  Do you think Moses kept a tablet of prayer concerns?  Do you think Paul went through and listed every single need he knew and ticked it off the papyrus?  What God really wants from us is constant communion.  Constant dialog.  The practice of speaking with Him about everything, all the time.  No special list, no special words, just a humble and willing heart and He gives us the help we need to do that. Look.

In the same way the Spirit also comes to help us, weak as we are. For we do not know how we ought to pray; the Spirit himself pleads with God for us in groans that words cannot express. And God, who sees into our hearts, knows what the thought of the Spirit is; because the Spirit pleads with God on behalf of his people and in accordance with his will.
Romans 8:26-27

Isn’t that a great comfort?  Here’s the interesting thing about these verses.  For years I think I got them all wrong.  I used them as an out.  You know, the Spirit’s got me covered when I’m too undisciplined to humble my heart in prayer.  Or, maybe that I was too weary, too stressed, too broken to pray and that the Holy Spirit would pray in my stead and I got a pass.  When I’m too weary, too stressed, too broken, isn’t that the time I must pray? It’s hard though, isn’t it?  Sometimes we can only offer up His name – Jesus!  That’s prayer.  Sometimes we can only offer up – Help!  That’s prayer.   Where does my help come from?  Sometimes we can’t even form the words in our hearts – Groan!  That’s prayer.  Sometimes we can only raise our face to the sky and Look Up!  That’s prayer.  You see, prayer is the attitude of our hearts, it’s not the words, the process or procedure.

In our Jesus! Help! Groan! Look Up! we are not alone.  As I pray, the Holy Spirit knows the perfect will of God and He speaks to the Father on my behalf.  In my every cry to Jesus, my call for Help, my Groan of brokenness, my Look Up to the hills.  Isn’t that a beautiful picture?  We offer our prayers.  They don’t have to be perfect prayers.  The Holy Spirit is intervening on our behalf.  Not praying in our place, but praying with us.  Not doing it for us so we don’t have to, but doing it with us.  We pray to the Father, and the Holy Spirit petitions the Father. How amazing is that? 

Weak as we are.  Distracted as we are.  Unfocused as we are.  We offer our hearts unto God.  He sent the Holy Spirit to help us, not to replace our prayers, but to help make those distracted, sometimes wordless, sometimes mechanical, sometimes dutiful prayers acceptable to God.  Holy Spirit you are welcome here…

Sweet hour of prayer! sweet hour of prayer! Thy wings shall my petition bear
To Him whose truth and faithfulness Engage the waiting soul to bless.
And since He bids me seek His face, Believe His Word and trust His grace,
I’ll cast on Him my every care, And wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer!