Okay. Here it is, Thursday, December 6, and I’m a hot mess, or at least I was this morning. I mean I guess December 6 is not so bad. Monday’s Blog predicted I’d start the gritted teeth thing on December 5, so I’ve exceeded my goal, right?
What goal you ask? Don’t you remember? It’s all about Jesus! It’s all about Jesus! It’s all about Jesus! After three hours on the phone with the computer folks last night, I mean, who’s got three hours to just give away, planning Christmas festivities, parties, gifts, wrapping, you know the franticness we talked about December 3, this morning while walking the worst-best dog ever, I came unglued. It’s only December 6 you say. I know that, please don’t point out my inadequacies, I see them quite clearly. Anyway, while walking, I was spewing. On this absolutely glorious morning, in the quiet of the predawn, I’m walking, in my bathrobe, up and down the road, to the rhythm of my swiveling neck. No wonder my poor neck hurts. All my anxieties, my tension, my frustration came out through my neck. I was head banging up and down, up and down, up and down the road, but there was no music.
What happened you say? As I continue to spew (that’s a cool word), the breeze stirred, sent a chill, and slapped me back into sensefullness. My spewing was filthy frustration. I was working myself up to a good old meltdown. What’s that you say? I was whining. Remember, whining makes it all about me. I’m so busy…I’m so tired…I’m so frustrated… When the revelation hit me, all the wind escaped from my frustrated sails. Oh, Lord above, please blow this filth of frustration from me.
That’s exactly what it was. Frustration that caused filth. Frustration that made me angry, anxious, self-absorbed, God-less. You know, I could use a heaping dose of my own medicine. Watch and Pray. Exactly what I wasn’t doing. The Evil One took advantage of the crack I gave him and the crack became a gapping hole. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you say. But I must. But we must. The filthy frustration is a slippery slope. Once we start down that path, it’s very hard to turn back. It’s easier to wallow, but not wise.
After confessing to God that I had a bad attitude and that everything during the month of December, or any other month as far as that’s concerned, is an opportunity. An opportunity to shine for Jesus, especially this time of year, especially when all the rest of the world feels the way that I felt. Overwhelmed. The funny thing about it is that December is no busier than any other month around our house. Same as yours. December just has a different focus. As Christians, we need to continue to Watch and Pray – yep, I’m talking to me. Obviously, I need to revisit The Word of God from Monday.
The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. Proverbs 18:10
Watch and call on the name of the Lord!
For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. Psalm 61:3
It’s all about Jesus! It’s all about Jesus! It’s all about Jesus! Because it really is.
