I’m stuffed – to the gills. What’s that mean anyway? Like fish, I’m full to the gills. To the top. Not another drop. Not another morsel. To the point of having trouble breathing. Do the holidays do that to you too? Well, actually, the holidays don’t do it to me, I do it to myself. The holidays for me used to start in August, the Youth Fair. A week of an ice cream a day (at least)! Then I’d be good until October – Halloween – candy that usually carried me into November. Ah…November…holiday season is ramping up big time. November carries me to December – a party a day – a cookie a day (at least) – the Bible does say to eat drink and be merry. Well, there’s really no reason to get control until after the first of January, you know, leftovers and all. The next holiday is a snow day – who doesn’t want to eat on a snow day – after all, aren’t we to store up to stay warm? The snow days carry me to Lent – wait, I can get control over Lent, I’ll give something up. Wrong reason — won’t work. Easter, with all its peanut butter eggs carries me to our May vacation, or holiday – again, an ice cream a day (at least). Sprinkle in a birthday here and there and I’m back to August. It all starts again. For me, it’s a perpetual destructive cycle.
I get so frustrated by my lack of self control, my lack of discipline? Am I alone? Are you why, why, whying? I am. That sounded like a commercial, didn’t it? Where oh where has my self control gone? Oh where, oh where can it be? Please, tell me I’m not alone!
As I was walking the worst-best dog ever this morning, I was lamenting about my heartburn. For real. I’ve had indigestion for a couple of days. I’m sure I know why, because I’ve been poisoning myself. For real. I beg forgiveness of God, tell Him I recognize my shameful deeds, they haunt me day and night, literally. I vow to make changes, which I sincerely mean and which I will follow through with, until…I break my vow. The vow I made to God, myself, and to those I made promise they would hold me accountable. I would love to say the devil made me do it, but he didn’t. I’m in charge of me and I make the choices.
I vow, I promise, promise, promise, not to eat sugar. That’s my battle. Your battle with self control or lack of discipline may not look like mine, yours may be retail therapy, over imbibing, power working, the shelter of momma’s little helper, fear for fear’s sake, the stress monster, the smoking giant, the Wordless Way, _______, you fill in the blank. The battle may be different but, the enemy of lack of self-control and lack of discipline, is the same. I keep thinking self-control and discipline just shouldn’t be this hard. After all, I know Jesus. I do know Jesus. He’s probably singing about now, I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden…
“Don’t even swear, ‘By my head!’ for you can’t turn one hair white or black.” Matthew 5:34
I love this!! Do you see what it says? Look again. You can’t, but God can. We cannot wake up one day and say ok, today’s the day I’m going to have self-control or be more disciplined. It doesn’t matter what part of your life needs a changing — whatever our giant, our fear, our obstacle. We do not have the power to overcome our obstacles alone, but He does. Why would we not want that? Without Him, we can do nothing, with Him, we can do all things! Remember what the angel told Mary…
For nothing is impossible with God. Luke 1:37
A dear friend who has been a many years smoker, recently told a group how she had quit smoking again. She had tried many times in the past. She said this time she did it with God, it was different – she turned it over to Him – didn’t take it back. She was amazed at what God could do through her. What God could do through her, not what she could do on her own. Faith — it does not make things easy, it makes them possible!
“The things that are impossible with people are possible with God.”
Luke 18:27