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…I rejoice to acknowledge, who will not be content with shallow logic.  They will admit the force of the argument, and then turn away with tears to hunt some lonely place and pray, “O God, show me thy glory.”  They want to taste, to touch with their hearts, to see with their inner eyes the wonder that is God.

I want deliberately to encourage this mighty longing after God.  The lack of it has brought us to our present low estate.  The stiff and wooden quality about our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire.  Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth.  Acute desire must be present or there will be no manifestation of Christ to his people.  He waits to be wanted.

The Pursuit of God, A.W. Tozer

Wow, this dude is deep.  I love it!   Frankly, some (ok most) of this seems over my head.  It’s taken me a week or more to begin to grasp what Tozer was talking about.   I had to read and re-read to try to get a little bit of understanding.  As glimpses of understanding came, I wondered to myself “Do I want God?”  Do I want to taste, to touch, to see with the eyes of my soul, to experience God?  Some may say, we already do that, it comes with being a Christian.  But I say that if we do not continually examine and question ourselves about God, about who He is, about how He works, about what He expects, and just assume that because we are Christians, that that is enough, we miss out on the relationship and the experience of God, and then we fail to see the wonder of God.

As David said during his time in the wilderness:

O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you.

My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this

parched and weary land where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1

Do we “earnestly” search for God?  Do we “thirst” for his living water?  Do we “long” for Him?  What does it mean to “thirst,” to “long?”  Are “earnestly,” “thirst,” “long,” parts of your relationship with God?

Do we long for God with our whole body? Mind, body and spirit?  Everything that we are?  Does our mind know God but our heart not experience God?  Do our bodies, by our actions reflect that we know God?  Do our hands, our feet, our hearts physically reach out to him?  Do we long for the Spirit of God to bubble up from within?

Further in Psalm 63, at verse 6, David says:  “I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night.”

Do we “meditate” on God other than when we have a request?  Other than when we need Him?

Fulfill your longing and your thirst by meditating on God.  Chase after him and you will see the wonder that He is.

How about chasing after God by searching through the scriptures for verses that encourage us to thirst, long and meditate on God?  Make a note of scriptures that will encourage and remind you “to see with your inner eye the wonder that is God.”

Lord in Heaven, we run to you.  We want to know you.  We want to experience you.  Show us your wonder today.  Amen.

All scripture is beautiful because it is God breathed.  Some scripture is melodic and rolls right off the tongue.  Some scripture is more difficult to speak.  Some scripture is easily understood.  Some scripture is only understood with prayer and revelation by God.  But, all scripture is beautiful because it was whispered by the One.

We recite scripture in our worship services, at funerals, at weddings, at anniversaries, at special events.  We memorize scripture for times of fear, anger, comfort, strength, exaltation, hope, honor,  praise.

One of the most widely recognized scriptures is the 23^rd Psalm.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:  he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul:  he leaded me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear not evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou prepares a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:  though anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

This is such a beautiful Psalm.  But to be flat out honest, usually when these verses are recited in unison, it is just downright depressing.  Could we be any less dramatic?  Any less enthusiastic?  Anyone else feel that way?  We recite it in monotone, as slow as we can possibly go.  It is just a dirge!  We certainly don’t make it sound like the breath of God whispered to His children.

If you carefully read the words, visualize the sights and sounds of David’s time, Psalm 23 is not actually a dirge, it’s a psalm of praise!  Check this out:

The Lord protects me!

He is all I need!

I find rest in him!

He is my strength!

He leads the way and when I am following His lead, He is glorified!

When I travel through tough times and my spirit is crushed,

I won’t be afraid because He is always with me!

His love, mercy and grace are constantly protecting me!

He shows my enemies how much He adores me!

He honors me, even when I’m not honorable!

His love for me is overflowing!

His mercy and love seek only

good for me every day!

And I will live with the

One True God in eternity,

forever!

I don’t know about you, but that sounds like praise to me.  That sounds like something we can call upon for comfort, for strength, for support, for blessing.  Our cup runneth over, isn’t that worth a little enthusiasm people?  What I have recently learned is that it is my attitude toward the Bible that really matters.  How I read it.  I’m learning to read the Bible the way I believe God meant for it to be read.  Reverently, respectfully, hopefully, joyfully, expectantly, instructionally.

Are you a checkmark person?  I’m a checkmark person.  I love, love, love making checkmarks.  Any other checkmarkers out there?  Give me a list and I can go to town.  Check-Check-Check-Check-Check.  I used to be a Bible checkmarker.    When I read the Bible I would mentally make checkmarks.  Love your neighbor – check.  Be charitable – check.  Do not kill – check.  Do not steal (if that doesn’t include postits from my employer) – check.  Be patient – check(ish).  Be kind – check.  Love the Lord God with all your heart – check, check and double-check!  You too!?!

Flat out, I wasn’t reading the Bible the right way.  If I read it seeking the character of God and expecting Him to reveal his character to me, and not looking to make checkmarks of God, I will be making checkmarks like crazy. This is how it works.  If I’m mirroring His imagine, I will love God the way He loves me – check.   If I’m mirroring His image, I will love my neighbor – check.  If I’m mirroring His image, I will not kill, by hand or by heart – check.  If I’m mirroring His image, I will not steal, even scrap paper that doesn’t belong to me – check.  If I’m mirroring His image, I will be kind – check.  You get it, right?  It’s all about Him!

It is exciting to read the Word of God because all scripture reflects the character of God.  All scriptures are His whispers to us.  Yes, scripture can put us in our place, but instead of reading or reciting scripture as a dirge, we need to read and recite looking for his character.  In looking for His character, we will see His guidance, direction, encouragement, discipline, support and blessings.  The Creator of the Universe revealing himself to us!  Isn’t that worth a little enthusiasm people?

We need to read the scriptures like they really matter, because they do.  Not like a dirge and not for the checkmarks.  Alistair Begg seems to say it best:  “The confidence of heaven is in the Word of God.  If you want to know God,  if you want to consider God, if you want to know if God knows you, read the Bible.”

On some evenings, the moon is particularly radiant in our neck of the woods.  Last night the sky was completely clear, not a cloud.  The moon was spectacular.  While looking at the moon, I couldn’t help but be in complete awe and wonder.  Trying to wrap my brain around God’s outrageous creation held me in awe.  I wondered that a God that created such a spectacular creation created and loves me.  Even me.

Walking this morning in the dark I again was struck in awe and wonder.  There’s this mud puddle in the field across from ours. In that mud puddle I saw the reflection of the moon.  Gorgeous.  It was crazy, I could see two moons.  One bright and brilliant in the sky and one bright and brilliant in the puddle, but wait – the one in the puddle is out of focus – in focus – out of focus – in focus, you get it.  What’s going on?  While watching the puddle I noticed the ever so gentle breeze, almost imperceptible, moving the water causing the moon to lose its sharpness.  The moon in the puddle was crispless.

This reminded me of my relationship with God.  When things are going well, He is perfectly clear.  Peace?  When I study His Word, He is perfectly clear.  When I snuggle up to Him and cleave to Him, He is perfectly clear.  But you know, like the wind, it only takes the very slightest movement to knock Him out of focus for me.  The gentle breeze of an argument with a loved one, an overdue bill, car issues, kid issues, animal issues, health issues, job issues, sin issues, etc. issues, all cause ripples in the puddle and distort our vision.

Like the moon in the sky, God is always perfectly clear.  Like the moon in the puddle, life encourages us to lose our focus.  But we have great hope!  Jesus came to bring our lives into focus.  The prophesy of Isaiah in Chapter 42 tells us of that promise.  It tells us of that Jesus.

Look at my servant, whom, I strengthen.  He is my chosen one, and I am pleased with him.  I have put my Spirit upon him…To open blind eyes.  To bring out prisoners from the prison, and them that sit in darkness out of the prison house.

He came to open our blind eyes and show us how to see clearly.  He can do for us what he did for the Disciples on their way to Emmaus.  Suddenly, their eyes were opened and they recognized Him.  Suddenly, everything came into focus.  Suddenly, the Disciples could see Jesus for what He was.  Suddenly, the ripples stopped.  Suddenly, everything came back into focus.  Suddenly.

Suddenly can happen to me too.  I can regain focus by feeding on His Word, eating the bread of life, and drinking the cup.  By taking Him in.  By refocusing.  By persisting in His presence.  By talking to the man in the moon.

Life is a series of decisions.  Without thinking about it, we make thousands of decisions in a day.  Studies show that the average person makes about 35,000 decisions a day.  That’s crazy, but if you think about it, you’ve just made a decision!  Should I do this or that?  Should I say this or that?  Should I go here or there?  What time should I get up?  What time should I lay down?  What should I wear?  Heels or flats?  Am I going to work or not?  Church or not?  Eat in?  Take out?  Chocolate or carrots?  DUH!  Sometimes we’re plagued by our decisions and other times it feels like we have the plague when we have to make a difficult decision.

So how do we make our decisions?  Handwring?  Flip a coin?  Rock, paper, scissors?  Guess?  Analyze?  List pros/cons?  Pray?  Remember – if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.

Roy Disney was the older brother of Walt Disney.  From what I’ve heard, Roy was the businessman and Walt was the creator visionary of Disney World.  Walt died in 1966 about the time Roy was going to retire.  Roy was able to realize Walt’s dream, and so that no one would forget whose dream it was, when the park opened it was called Walt Disney World instead of Disney World – decision made!  Something tells me there were more than 35,000 decisions a day made on this venture.

Roy Disney said:

It is not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.

Chew on that a bit.  When your values are clear; your decisions are easy.  So, what do we value?  Think about that.  Do we even know what we value?  I really had to think about it.  What do I value?  What has worth to me?  What is important to me?  What principles or standards dictate what I value?  Of course, I can say the perfunctory things like family, friends, home, jobs, God.  But when I get honest with myself, God-honest, the kind of honest He desires, wide-open honest…

You know, if I don’t decide what I value, what has worth to me, what is important to me, the world will define it for me.  It’s like that for all of us.  I’m sorry to say that too often I’ve not defined my values nor lived my values.   This is quite evident in some of my decision-making.

I think Mr. Disney was on to something.  If we know what we value, what we believe and we’re willing to live by those values and beliefs, our decisions should be easy.  The decision is easy, the follow through is sometimes harder.

Our Lord is quite clear about what our values should be, if we are His.  He also promises that if we are His, the decisions are His.  Doesn’t that make it easy?

Whether you turn to the right or turn to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”  Isaiah 30:21

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.  Psalm 32:8

The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him, though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.  Psalm 37:23-24

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6

He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.  All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.  Psalm 25:9-10

Over, and over again, He says follow Me, commit to Me, value Me.  So, what do we value?  Are our values clear?  Are our decisions easy?  Do our decisions reflect God?

If someone asked that question, how would you respond?  Jesus!  Of course, that’s the right answer for every question – when in doubt shout Him out!  But seriously, think about it.  If you had to tell someone what love was, what would you say?  How would you describe it?

Love.  It’s trending right now or it’s trendy right now. Both are true.  But does anybody really know what true love is?  Foreigner didn’t.  Remember, “I Want to Know What Love Is…”

Nazareth didn’t — Love Hurts.  Isn’t that funny?  A rock group named Nazareth (actually for Nazareth, Pennsylvania), with the same name as the childhood place of the Father of Love singing about how love hurts.  Wrap your mind around that one.

Remember Jennifer saying to Oliver – “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”?   We know enough about God’s character to know that in fact the opposite is true.  Love means constantly having to say you’re sorry.

The dictionary has 28 definitions for the word love.  How do we know the world doesn’t know what love is?  Eight of these definitions refer to – hold your ears youngins – sex.  Remember Love American Style?  Contrary to what the world would have us believe, sex is not love.  You can have sex without having love.  Okay, enough with the “S” word, I mention it only to show where we are, where we’ve been and where we’re heading.

Vine’s Bible Dictionary defines love as follows:

Christian love, whether exercised toward the brethren, or toward men generally, is not an impulse from the feelings, it does not always spend itself only upon those for whom some affinity is discovered.  Love seeks the welfare of all and works no ill to any, love seeks opportunity to do good to ‘all men, and especially toward them that are of the household of the faith.’

Hmmm.  Does that help define or conjure up more questions?

What’s love got to do with it?  Tina Turner didn’t know either or she wouldn’t have asked  “What’s love…” 16 times in that one song.  Can’t you hear it?  “What’s love got to do, got to do with it?  What’s love but a second-hand emotion?”  What does that even mean?  Anyway…

After breakfast Jesus said to Simon Peter,

“Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.”

“Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him.

Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

“Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.”

“Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said.

Once more he asked him, “Simon son of John do you love me?”

Peter was grieved that Jesus asked the question a third time.  He said, “Lord, you know everything.  You know I love you.”

Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.”

John 21:15-17

A story of redemption, love, service, but mostly love.  God’s love.

The word love in these verses is translated from the word agape the first two times it is used.  Agape love is charity, goodwill, benevolence, harmony.  It is not romantic love or sexual love.  Agape love is an action love.  Agape love is not an emotional love, it is an act of the will.  This is the kind of love God has for us.  I know this for sure because I’m not always Miss Lovely, yet He loves me so.  This kind of love is always an action, remember the Cross?  God is love.  It comes naturally to Him.  It doesn’t come naturally to me because I’m a sinner.  But I am to love as Christ loved, willfully.  Remember the Cross?  God is love.  Mirroring Him would mean – Beth is love.  If this is so, isn’t this how it should work?

Beth is patient and kind.  Beth is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  Beth does not demand her own way.  Beth is not irritable, and she keeps no record of when she has been wronged.  Beth is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Beth never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Egads!  In reality, it’s more like this:

Beth is patient and kind (Sometimes, especially when people are patient and kindable).  Beth is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude (Especially when the world resolves around me!).  Beth does not demand her own way (I just don’t understand why folks can’t see how right I am!).  Beth is not irritable (Just testy!), and she keeps no record of when she has been wronged (Every dog has their day, dog!).  Beth is never glad about injustice (I’m sure they deserved it!) but rejoices whenever the truth wins out (It’s all about perception!).  Beth never gives up (I’m weary!), never loses faith (Where are you Lord?), is always hopeful (I am walking in the Valley!), and endures through every circumstance (Just give up, you can’t change anything!).

Clearly, that’s not love, that’s Beth, under the influence of the Influencer. Flee from me Terrible Tempter!

The last time Jesus asks Peter if he loves him, the word love has a different meaning.  This love is translated from the word phileo.  Phileo is different.  Phileo is not a willful love.  Phileo is a friendship love, a brotherly love.  A love that you cannot have for your enemies.  Phileo is a hey, I want to hang out with you kind of love.

The world is all loved up but doesn’t know how to love.  Love is not sex, it is not agreeing, it is not rude, it is not impatient, it is not hate.  God teaches us lovers, through Peter, to get beyond ourselves to the real love.  Then Peter teaches us lovers what he learned about love from God – to get beyond ourselves to the real love.

Through Christ you have come to trust in God.  And because God raised Christ from the dead and gave him great glory, your faith and hope can be placed confidently in God.  Now you can have sincere love for each other as brothers and sisters because you were cleansed from your sins when you accepted the truth of the Good News.  So see to it that you really do love each other intensely with all your hearts.  For you have been born again.  Your new life did not come from your earthly parents because the life they gave you will end in death.  But this new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God.  1 Peter 1:22-23

Because of His resurrection, redemption and cleansing we are able to sincerely love.  Until we accept all that Jesus has to offer, we cannot sincerely, purely, freely, unconditionally love.  It’s simply not possible.

Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me, the Cross tells me so.   If you want to know what love is, ask the One who is love, He wants to show you.

While porching the other day, just taking in all of the early morning sounds of darkness, a sweet smell wafted across my nose.  I slowly inhaled to take in all the sweetness.  Then it was gone.  Has that ever happened to you?  Out of the blue a beautiful aroma will gently appear on the breeze.  It lingers for a few seconds and the breeze either carries it to another place, or we stop noticing.  You know what I mean, don’t you?  Out for a walk and the breeze carries to you a reminder.

Smells are in the nostril (that’s a funny word) of the smeller.  What is fragrant to me may be stench to you.  To me, babies smell good.  Flowers smell good.  Rain smells good.  Cookies baking smell good.  Laundry on the line smells good.  Horses smell good.  A roast in the oven smells good.  Aged leather smells good.  But there are other smells that just plain…stink.  When they arrive on the breeze we get wide eyed and look to see where they came from.

Have you ever thought about the smells of the Bible?  Living in a hot, arid land, wearing a robe, taking care of livestock  — think about it!  I know what I smell like when I clean the barn.

The story of Lazarus made me think about Bible smells.  I know, weird.  Specifically, John 11:39:

Then they came to the grave.

It was a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance.

“Roll the stone aside,”  Jesus told them.

But Martha, the dead man’s sister, said,

“Lord, by now the smell will be terrible

because he has been dead for four days.”

Jesus responded,

“Didn’t I tell you that you will see God’s glory if you believe?”

The King James Version says:  “Lord, by this time he stinketh.”  Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking that that Martha was one practical woman.  That was my first thought too!  Yikes!  But you see, Martha need not fear the stench, she need only believe.

You know that upon his death, Jesus was laid in a tomb, just like Lazarus.  Luke 16 tells us that the evening after Jesus’s death that Mary Magdalene, Salome and the other Mary went out and purchased burial spices to put on Jesus body.  These ladies too probably thought about the smell of death.  But hadn’t He also told them that if they only believe they would see His glory?  In fact, what did the angel at the tomb say to them:  “Why are you looking in a tomb for someone who is alive?”  The angel was saying, the stench of death is not here, only the sweet aroma of everlasting life.

You see, Jesus had told them repeatedly about His resurrection, but it wasn’t until the angel spoke that that they remembered.  The absence of the smell of death reminded them of the sweet smell of Jesus’s words.   They need only believe.  We need only believe.

Just as Martha ran to tell others the good news that Lazarus was alive, and just as Mary Magdalene, Salome and the other Mary ran to tell others the good news of Christ’s resurrection, we are to do the same.  We are to spread the sweet aroma of everlasting life.

Now, wherever we go he uses us to tell others about the Lord and to spread the Good News like a sweet perfume.  Our lives are a fragrance presented by Christ to God.

But his fragrance is perceived differently by those being saved and by those perishing.  To those who are perishing we are a fearful smell of death and doom.  But to those who are being saved we are a life-giving perfume.            2 Corinthians 2:14-16

Are we spreading sweet perfume everywhere we go?  Are we talking about Jesus, pointing to Jesus, looking for Jesus, sharing Jesus, living Jesus, proclaiming the aroma of salvation to all?  Do our lives smell like we know Christ, defer to Christ, fall humbly at the feet of Christ, or should we be afraid to roll away the stone?

 

If He said come on, let’s go.  If He said, follow me.  If He said, drop everything.  If He said, I have something for you to do.  If He said, I have somewhere for you to go.  If He said, I have some folks you need to talk to.  What would I say?  What would you say?  I will follow, I will drop everything, I will do what you want me to do, I will go where you want me to go, I will talk to who you want me to talk.  Those are all the right answers, right?  Those are all the things we’re supposed to say if we are followers of Christ, right?

Well, let’s talk reality.  For me, I’d say, with great enthusiasm…Yes, yes, yes, I will follow, I will drop everything, I will do what you want me to do, I will go where you want me to go, I will talk to who you want me to talk but, let me first finish this load of laundry – I need clothes to take; run to the store – I need snacks for a road trip; gas up the car – how else will I get there; run to the bank (yes, we still do that) – you need a little jingle in your pocket; make a call – people gotta know where I’m going; set my email autoreply – someone else has to take care of others in my absence; get a horse/chicken/dog/cat-sitter – someone needs to take care of my babies here while I’m there.  I am one prepared woman!

Then I’d say…Where’re we going?  All that way?  Am I going alone?  That might be best.  Who else is going?  Do they have to?  Will they be good traveling companions?  Maybe.  How long does it take to get there?  That long?  What route will we take?  That’s a busy road you know.  Who are we going to see?  Why them?  Do they know us?  I don’t know them.  What will we say?  Can we write out a script?  Will they like us?  What’s not to like?  Can we stop and eat on the way?  Let’s get our priorities in line.  Are we there yet?  How much longer?  All these thoughts would flit through my mind in a nanosecond.  Jesus would probably look at me and say good grief girl!  Relax!  Slow down!  I’d be going but, but, but…

Did the Disciples have any of those same thoughts when Jesus called them?  We don’t really know what all of them were thinking when they were called.  I kind of hope they had some of the same thoughts I did.  I’d like to think of them as just as human as me because they were just as human as me, as you.

The Disciples were not called by chance, they were called by choice.  Jesus prayed, called and instructed those He chose.  Jesus prays, calls, and instructs us as well.  Why?  Because we are Chosen.  Chosen to be His.  Chosen to follow Him.  Chosen to be His Disciples.  Chosen to spread His Word.

Look what Jesus said to His Disciples in Matthew 10:

Don’t go to the Gentiles or the Samaritans, but only to the people of Israel – God’s lost sheep.  Go and announce to them that the Kingdom of Heaven is near.  Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons.  Give as freely as you have received.   Matthew 10:7-8

You know it’s the same for us, right?

Jesus Prays:

I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me because of their testimony.  My prayer is that they will be one, just as you and I are one, Father – that just as you are in me and I am in you, so they will be in us, and the world will believe you sent me.  John 17:20-21

Jesus Calls:

You didn’t choose me, I chose you.  I appointed you to go and produce fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.  John 15:16

Jesus Instructs:

Don’t take any money with you.  Don’t carry a traveler’s bag with an extra coat and sandals or even a walking stick.  Don’t hesitate to accept hospitality, because those who work deserve to be fed.  Whenever you enter a city or village, search for a worthy man and stay in his home until you leave for the next town.  When you are invited into someone’s home, give it your blessing.  If it turns out to be a worthy home, let your blessing stand; if it’s not take back the blessing.  If a village doesn’t welcome you or listen to you, shake off the dust of that place from your feet and leave.
Matthew 10:9-14

Jesus prayed.  Jesus called.  Jesus instructed. Where to go.  Where not to go.  Where to stay.  What to say.  What to do.  How to do it.  He prayed.  He called.  He instructed.  Because He’s a Forever God, He’s still doing that today.  He’s praying for us.  He’s chosen us.  He instructs us.

The question is not really “if” Jesus calls, it’s “when” Jesus calls.   Is there something He’s calling you to do?  Is it something too big?  Is it something too scary?  Is it something too uncomfortable?  Is it something too difficult?   If we are His, He is calling.  If we are His, we go in His power.  If we are His, He is right there beside us, every step of the way, praying for us and instructing us.   When Jesus calls, how will we answer?

Scared to death.  That was me, and I don’t scare easy.  So here it is.  On a Wednesday in June Tony and I flew to Florida to move his mom back to West Virginia.  It’d been years since she lived in West Virginia and many of you, especially in January, may wonder why she moved back North.  Duh! Us!

She had rented a 15 foot U-Haul, and a transport trailer for her car.  Just FYI, a 15 foot U-Haul is actually 22 and a half feet long.  This sucker was 40+ feet long in total.  Just 10 small feet shy of a tractor trailer!  Anyway, it was big.  All in all, these things were the perfect size.

Tony and I left Florida Thursday afternoon.  We stopped overnight in Georgia, and on Friday we continued the journey home.  Home.  Isn’t that a great sound?  Anyway, we’re somewhere in North Carolina when Tony asked if I would mind driving for a half hour or so.  Urch!  Screech!  Ahhh!  Was he really asking me to drive this mama?  Did he know how long it was?  This was not a horse trailer.  Did he know we were traveling 95 on a Friday?  Breathe. The man just wanted to close his eyes for a few minutes.  Where was my servant heart?  I looked at him and said sure, I’d try.  He then asked the dreaded question – “Will you go the speed limit?”  And I said “Only if the car in front of me is going the speed limit because I’m not changing lanes!”  How hard could it be?  All I have to do is stay between the lines.

A few minutes later I ease slowly onto 95 North, right behind Tanker 852.  I’m praying incessantly, Oh Lord!  Oh Lord!  You know how you pray when you’re panicked and you just can’t find the words?  Trust me, the Holy Spirit was intervening on my behalf.  As we headed on up the road, I noticed that I had been holding my breath.  No wonder I was panicked, blood couldn’t get to my brain.  About this time I was wishing I had taken a deep breathing course somewhere along the line.  As I gripped the wheel, I noticed my hands were white and numbness and tingling were taking over.  I had such a grip on that steering wheel that my fingernails were digging into my palms.  Slap!  Snap out of it girl!  I needed to get a grip, or actually lessen my grip.

I had decided that if I stayed behind Tanker 852 and if I could keep my “load” between the lines, the very narrow lines, that everything would be okay.  Then it started to rain.  Right out of nowhere.  Cats and dogs man.  The panic again.  The rain stopped.  Just stay in the lines.  Then we came upon an entrance ramp.  Tanker 852 moves left.  The panic again.  I gulp and move left.  Just stay in the lines.  Then we go over a bridge.  The joints were not quite even, thus the “Uneven Pavement” sign.  The U-Haul bounced into the air.  My butt flew out of the seat – thank goodness I had that grip on the wheel – I screamed!  Tony jumped.  Breathe.

The farther I traveled, the more I started to relax.  In fact, I started singing that song – Tanker 852 was Pig Pen, I was Rubber Duck…We got a little convoy rockin’ through the night.  Yeah, we got a little convoy, ain’t she a beautiful sight!  Convoy…

Our faith journey is much the same, right?  We’re on a course.  It’s a convoy.

You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate.

The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose

the easy way.

But the gateway to life is small,

and the road is narrow, and only a few ever find it.

Matthew 7:13-14

This journey reminded me of Christian’s journey  in Pilgrim’s Progress.  I was seeking the way home.  Christian was seeking the way to his everlasting home.  He sought “an inheritance incorruptible, undefiled, and that fadeth not away, and it is laid up in heaven, and safe there, to be bestowed, at the time appointed, on them that diligently seek it.”  Evangelist directed Christian to the path of the little wicket-gate – the narrow gate – the gateway to life!  Aren’t we all seeking that?

Trying to keep our lives on that narrow path to yonder wicket-gate is sometimes just as hard as trying to keep that U-Haul in between the lines.  Did I mention it was 40 feet long?  Running off the road on the left or right can be treacherous.  A ditch.  Another vehicle.  A bump in the road.  Flying debris.  A blown tire.  A bad decision.  A harsh word.  A bad attitude.  A date with Mr. Worldly Wiseman near the City of Destruction.  We all know what pulls us off the narrow path and causes us to leave the guidelines lines, what causes us to crash.

But, God…don’t you love the but God’s?  But God, in designing the narrow path also gave us the means to travel the road to the wicket-gate.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

Psalm 119:105

What great comfort.  The road is narrow but the path is well lit.  Well lit by the bright and morning star — the light of the world!  There is only one path and we’re told it is very narrow.  If we do not have to sometimes walk sideways on the road that we’re traveling, we may need to rethink our road.  If the road is crowded, we may need to rethink our road.  If there are no warning signs or dangers outside of the lines, we may need to rethink our road.

Because of God’s tender mercy,

The light from Heaven is about to break upon us,

To give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,

And to guide us to the path of peace.

Luke 1:78

Although we may not always understand the route of the narrow road, we can always be assured that the route will lead us to peace, to grace, to life everlasting, to Him – that’s faith!

I am the light of the world.  If you follow me,

you won’t be stumbling through the darkness,

because you will have the light that leads to life.

John 8:12

Tanker 852 reminded me that we’re all headed down a road.  We must heed the warning signs along the way and keep our eyes focused on the Shining Light in order to stay the course.

My Green Baby.  Isn’t she a beauty?  Well…she was.  A moment of silence, please.  If you’ve seen our place, you know there’s a lot to mow.  In order to mow you have to have the right equipment to do it.  When we first moved here, we bought a new push mower.  It was stolen before we moved in.  A sign.  So, we got another one.  With grass nearly waist high in spots, my push mower soon caputed.  So, we got another one.  See the pattern here?  We still have that push mower and she’s still going strong.  We are slowly cutting out the brush from around our place and we now have real grass to mow.

We split the mowing.  Did I mention there’s a lot to mow?  Tony mows the fields with the tractor, I mow our “yards.”   Until last year, I pushed them.  The more brush we cut out, the more yard we had, the more I pushed.  It was good for me, right?  Well, last year for my birthday, Tony surprised me with a riding mower.  My very own.  Nothing runs like a Deere.  It wasn’t new, but it was new to me.  She was perfect!  Bright and shiny – green and yellow.  I called her my Green Baby.  A moment of silence, please.

To be honest, when I first got her I was a little intimidated by her.  She was loud.  She had these blades that could cut your body in two better than any magician.  There were gears.  There was a turtle to rabbit thingy.   Standard stuff on most riding mowers.  Once I learned that the gas and the oil didn’t go in the same place, we were good to go.  She purred like a kitten.  I’d hop on her, turn up the God tunes, and off we’d go.  After the first summer, I really got comfortable with her.  I learned to know her so well.

I’d come home from work, hop on my Green Baby and we would plow through the yard, chop, chop, chopping that grass.  Her little 21 inch deck working just as hard as she could.  Up the hill, down the hill.  Quick turn left, quick turn right.  You know, over the river and through the woods.  We went everywhere together – not really, but you get my gist.  We had many adventures, most of them we kept just between the two of us.  Like the time I dropped a stick into the gas tank.  And the time I got the mower deck pin stuck under the fence and I had to kick the board off to get the mower out, then nail the fence back in before Tony got home.  And the time I ran into the clothes lines pole at an accelerated rate speed.  And the time I rode over this tiny little tree stump and got stuck and I had to dismount and lift the mower off.   And the time I went under a tree and a stick went through my earring and about ripped my ear off.  And the time I misjudged a limb and it knocked my glasses off and I could see nothing.  I found them on the ground, in one piece.  No harm done.  We had some great adventures. Memories…

Then the dreaded day.  I was trying to beat the moon.  Probably going a little too fast, well a lot too fast, rounding the corner of the brush pile and bam! my left front tire just barely caught the edge of a brick around the firepit.  It was awful.  There was this terrible noise.  I stopped the mower, well the brick stopped it, technically.   I turned my steering wheel to the left, but Green Baby didn’t move.  I turned my steering wheel to the right, but Green Baby didn’t move.  I turned Green Baby off.  I jumped off and walked around her to see what the problem was.  When I looked at the front of her, her front wheels were pointed in opposite directions.   Remember Herbie the Lovebug?  She was broke.   Just about this time, Tony comes out on the deck.  Uh-oh.  I muster up my sweetest smile.  I told him something bad had happened to my Green Baby.

Months later, I can finally admit that the death of Green Baby was completely my fault.  I was careless.  I was confident.  I was prideful.  Look at me…ew!

So be careful how you live, not as fools but as those who are wise.

Ephesians 5:15

I was a fool.  I was anything but careful.  I was untouchable.   I was thoughtless.  I’ve been reflecting on my foolishness.  Sometimes we (me) treat Jesus just like I treated my Green Baby. I expected her to do things for me – mow.  I expected her to mow when I wanted her to.  I expected her to do her job, but I failed to do my job.  I do expect Jesus to show up when I need Him.  I do expect Him to show up when I want something.  I do expect Him to do His job of keeping His promises.  But often I fail to do my job.  Oh sure, I start out taking very good care of my relationship with Him.  But somewhere along the line, I become complacent, faithless, careless.

Here’s the thing, carelessness is very costly.  My mower can be replaced, for a price, but someone has to work for that price.   Being careless with my relationship with Jesus can be costly too.  It costs me peace, joy, happiness, contentment, comfort.  The cost of carelessness with Jesus is so very high.  It is eternity.  See, he’s already paid the price, the ultimate price, His life, so that we can live eternally.  How can we take that for granted?  How can we be thoughtless?  How can we be careless with that?

More than that, I count all things to be loss

in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord,

for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ.

Philippians 3:8

Just like on Green Baby, sometimes I get complacent, I get careless, I get thoughtless, I go so fast that I break something and I’m separated from Him.  Just like I should have tended Green Baby a bit better, like she was valuable,  I must tend my relationship with Jesus a little better, like He’s most valuable.

Seek the Lord while you can find Him.

Call on Him now while He is near.

Let the people turn from their wicked deeds.

Let them banish from their minds the very thought of doing wrong!

Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them.

Yes, turn to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.

Isaiah 55:6-7

I love the message of Isaiah.  Turn to God and He will abundantly pardon!!!  No matter how careless we have been with our relationship with God, no matter how unfaithful we have been, no matter the direction of our wheels, if we turn to Him, we will be pardoned.  Turn, reverse, change and He will restore the joy of your salvation.

There are a couple of graveyards not far from where I work.  I’ve never visited them, until recently.  In my pursuit to persist in the presence of God, sometimes during lunch I go for a prayer walk.  By myself – just me and Jesus.  On my walk, I pass a couple of graveyards up on South Street.  One on each side of the street.  They’re beautiful.  I’ve always thought graveyards were beautiful, not in a creepy way.  They just usually look so neat, rows of headstones, some with flowers, some without.  Big monuments, small monuments.  Usually very uniform and tidy.  Orderly.  Old.  Obviously, very peaceful.

Even though I’ve probably been by those two graveyards at least a thousand times in my life, I never really thought about them until recently.  I don’t know who owns the graveyards.  Just by their appearance they are owned by two different graveyard-owners.  Does one own a graveyard?  Anyhow.  One of them looks over the City.  The other on the opposite side of the street backs a wooded area.  Both are surrounded by a lovely stone fence.  One is bolted shut, one is not.  Both are beautiful.

While walking by last week, I started wondering how old some of the stones were.  I couldn’t get in to the bolted graveyard but the oldest stone I could see through the bars showed that the person memorialized there was born on December 24, 1795 and died September 13, 1879.  Does that not blow your mind?  This person was only 19 years older than our Nation, and lived to be 84 years old.  Ponder that.

Anyway, today while walking by the graveyards, I checked out the graveyard on the opposite side.  To be honest, I can’t believe I walked in.  Here I am in my dress and sneakers, tiptoeing through a cemetery, not in a creepy way.  As I’m walking around, which I have never done before except at funerals, I’m checking out the age of the headstones.  I was interested in seeing how old the tombstones were on this side of the street.   What I did find spoke right to me, not aloud, but deep in my heart.  I found the monument of Alexander Cooper.  Mr. Cooper was born April 16, 1775. Mr. Cooper was born before our Nation was born!  Mr. Cooper died September 4, 1852, at the age of 77 years old.  That’s crazy to think about, isn’t it?  Mr. Cooper was born nearly 250 years ago.

Written on Mr. Cooper’s grave marker was the following:

A man without reproach.

A Christian humble and decent.

An Elder who ruled well.

Sober, grace, temperate.

Sound in faith.

A life of usefulness terminated in a peaceful death and his rest is glorious.

Obviously, I didn’t know Alexander Cooper, but reading his headstone makes me wish I had.  Who wouldn’t want to know that kind of person?  By the look of it, Mr. Cooper was everything we Christians aspire to be on this earth.  He was blameless.  He was humble.  He was decent.  He was fair.  He had a sober, graceful temperament.  His faith was solid.  His life benefited others.  He died a peaceful death and is living in glory.  Don’t you want that?  Better yet, don’t you want others to say that about you?  I do.  I want my life to say that I’m blameless, a Christian, humble, decent, fair, sober, grace-filled, with a firm foundation.  I want others to think that I was useful and I’d prefer to die a peaceful death before I dance in His glory.  Yep.  I’d be happy to be compared to Mr. Cooper, he appeared to be a Godly man.

Therefore, I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.

Ephesians 4:1

Paul urged the folks at Ephesus to live a life worthy of being called by God.  We need to do that as well.  We all want to stand before our King and hear him say:  “Well done my good and faithful servant.”  Don’t we?

How do we make that happen?  What do we need to ask ourselves?  Is our faith solid?  Are we blameless?  Are we humble?  Are we decent?  Are we fair?  Is our temperament graceful?  Do we need to change so others will see God in us?  What attitudes do we need to adjust?  What words do we need not speak?  What actions do we need to take?  He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it, if we’re willing to let Him.